Laila Gerhardt
Laila Gerhardt studied Applied Theatre Science in Gießen and is currently doing her master’s in Comparative Literature in Frankfurt am Main and experimental Radio at the Bauhaus University in Weimar. She worked in the independent theatre scene of Frankfurt and is now focusing more and more on Soundart. She also works in a Kitchen. Laila got her first diagnosis at the age of six and has collected some more since then.
Dream blunt rotation
Neurovascular Inflammation, Endometrioma, Cortisol, and me.
In a cozy room with a good portion of secondary lighting and the rest of daylight.
Lying on big velvety pillows, the smoke lingering around us.
Giggling, feeling lightheaded and tingly. No one’s acting up, everyone just feeling
the vibes. Maybe some music. For sure some nice refreshing drinks.
The window is open and a little warm, early evening breeze is there. No plans, just
letting ourselves fade into the rest of the night..
I like the dream blunt rotation scenario, even though I don’t really smoke weed
anymore.
Weed tackles pain quite well. And pain is aversive.
Maybe a shitty thing with pain is that there is a need to locate it. Medics ask you to
locate it. Then it is located in a system of diagnostics, it is given a name, thus a
place in the pharmaceutical cabinet with a price tag and some side effects. It is
then that you tell the teacher or the boss why you can not come in today. It is
what you tell the people who ask you, if you are ok when your face contorts.
„To locate means to establish or settle in a place“. Bro.. who wants to settle
there?
But to be honest, maybe that is what happens with pain, you settle in, you make a
place for it, you establish it in who you are.
I don’t know if it is a comforting or very disturbing thought. Or just a contradiction.
Or a misunderstanding.
Maybe we can be a bit dislocated with the whole pain thing. A bit more dubious, a
bit more like in a dream blunt rotation where you have the feeling of a crazy brilliant
thought and the dumbest idea just seconds apart.
I don’t know where exactly I hurt. Paff paff pass!
Leave a Reply